It was a good one, 2017!

This year was a whirlwind for me. I was able to experience a lot of things, 20 year old something me will never imagine. My maturity somehow kicked in. My self confidence was tested, so as my patience and self drive. But most of all I was able to experience happy unforgettable memories and checked off a lot of things in my to-do-list.

Travel:

I was able to visit Washington DC and New York with my family during early summer. It felt surreal! Going to NY was just part of a dream and because of my siblings It came true. I also get to see Lake Minnewanka and Moraine Lake here in Alberta during end of summer with the family as well. Such pretty places!

Career:

After years of waiting, I finally got the chance to work as a nurse. It happened 3 months before the year ends with the help of an old friend. Finding a job wasn’t easy that’s why I feel so blessed when this fell in my lap. Very much thankful for this person as well as to my employer for giving me the chance to show off my capabilities as a nurse. Two months after, I was given another chance to be a part-time employee from casual one.

Through the help of a former classmate and friend, I was able to obtain another job. A casual position as a nurse.

I feel really thankful and blessed for having these people lending their hands to help me.

Health:

From a chubby, unhealthy 165 lbs woman I was back on May to now an impressive 131 lbs woman, I can’t help but say wow and brag about it. With dedication and discipline, I was able to pull off kilos and inches away just by clean exercise and diet. No diet pills or drinks used. Everyone’s been happy with the result and can’t help expressing how glad they are.

Paano pa kaya ako?!

Adulthood:

Driving is one of those that I have been trying to skip doing since 2010. But since my work was 30 minutes away from where I live, I was forced to drive myself to work. Even bought a car which made me love driving now.

Cooking is one of the things I know I have to eventually learn but didn’t realize it will start this year. The range of the things I can cook widened and I am pleased with the result. Tho most of it still needs work, they are still edible, or atleast to my family. Hahahaha.

Decision making and Prioritizing, still a work-in-progress but I must say that this was challenged mostly in the latter part of the year.

Meeting People/New Friends:

I met a lot this year because of work. I was able to meet new set of friends who are of the same age as me. They’ve been helping me to get out of my shell and experience the things Ive been wanting to do. I am in love with them ūüôā

 

Lovelife:

I met two this year. The first guy was someone who’s like very ideal for me, physically while the other guy was someone who I can be myself with. Unfortunately, they are both taken.

In this aspect, I also took a risk of letting my feelings out thinking that it will be reciprocated but since the timing was off, It didn’t push through. And the friendship fell off ten notches down.

It has been a challenging and fruitfull year for me. 2017 tested me well and made me an adult. I guess, I wouldn’t want to have it in any other way. Thank you 2017 ūüôā

Ash

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I am a timeline myself.

I am the kind of person who sets deadlines and always has a to do list so that to get myself moving and avoid prolong procrastination. I so got used to doing this that I am even planning my life yearly and have like a 5 year to do list to track on.

When I was about 10, I planned to enter relationships after graduating college and as a sign of respect to my parents as well. Now, eight years after graduation, I still haven’t been in one and I am two years away from being 30, my deadline, my marrying age.

Sure it is terrifying. There’s not even a slight sign that I am going to be in a relationship before I hit that age. I planned my everyday too well but since this didn’t occurred to me before to be this possible, I did not make a Plan B.

Mostly everyone surrounding me have been asking me, pushing me to make a move but my guts and pride are barricading me to step out of my zone. Am I procrastinating again or am I just scared? Should I follow my deadline or should I give myself longer chance to find that true love? I am torned by this thoughts.

I believe that timelines are made by human and the thought of ignoring this is making feel not myself.

Must I continually give love a chance to come? Must I keep on waiting? Will it be worth it to make a move?

I am human. I am a timeline myself. I don’t need help, I just need to think this through.

Right now one thing is for sure, if I reach that deadline and still single, I will enroll myself to take a medicine career or get a pomeranian. If I am able to make it, then, I will give the wedding planner the notebook of where I wrote my detailed planned wedding day.

Have I told you I have a habit of thinking too much? 

That’s it for now,

Ash

12 questions you should NEVER ask a single lady (TagLish)

Oh Please! We know we are single! You don’t have to slam it on us! Haha. Hindi naman masama maging single eh! Hindi ba pwedeng career minded lang talaga kami or sadyang we are so hopeless romantic that we believe in waiting and by meeting by chance. Kasalanan ba namin that we believe in destiny?

Ladies: This is how we should answer! Lalo na sa mga single late twenties!

Sa mga magtatanong: Kung kayo nagtataka, ano pa kami? Learn to wait ok? haha. Single kami, Walang basagan ng trip!

1. Nasaan boyfriend mo?

You know I don’t have a boyfriend! Kakatanong mo lang last week dba? Alangan naman na in a week nakahanap agad ako?! Ano akala mo sakin, desperate?!

2. May papakilala ako sayo!!!

Nasaaan? Sana sinama mo na agad! Wala naman magagalit eh! Charot! Tip: kung may papakilala ka siguradin mo ok at wag mo sasabhin na may papakilala ka sabay the next na magkita sasabihin mo ulit na may papakilala ka. Kasi pagpaulit ulit sinasabi, nakaka GRRR! haha.

3. Uy Gwapo o! Flirt mo! Daliiii!

Excuse me! Who are you calling flirt? ME? If I am a flirt, do you think I’ll be single now?

4. Maganda ka naman bakit wala ka boyfriend?

I know I am pretty, ok? Ewan ko na lang, bulag ata tong mga lalaki na to.

5. Intimadating ka kasi!

Is it my fault? Kasalanan ko ba na intimidated sila sakin?!

6. Sige ka, magiging matandang dalaga ka nyan!

Tingin mo ba ginusto ko to? Kung may choice ba ako eh! Kasalanan ko bang walang nanliligaw sakin?! Eh sa wala ako nakikilala eh!

7. Mag-ayos ka kasi! Put some make up on para magkaboyfriend ka!

Love me for me; not for how you want me to be, ok! Looks fade you know! At hello! Maganda ako kahit I woke up like this ang pes ko no!

8. Magboyfriend ka na! Gusto ko ng apo/pamangkin no!

Pressure and struggle is real!!! Nay, Tay, Ate, Kuya at Bunso, don’t worry nagkakaron pa ko!

Boyfriend nga ang hirap hanapin, asawa pa kaya? Saka hindi naman porket in a relationship eh ‘matik ng siya na si the one!

9. Ayan kasi ang choosy mo! Standards mo kasi ibaba mo!

Hindi naman ako desperada no. Saka nagantay na lang din ako, edi lubusin ko na. Ang gusto ko lang naman eh mabait, may trabaho, at napapangiti ako. Bonus na lang yung gwapo, matangkad at may dimples! Masama ba yun? haha.

10. Uy, Out of town daw bukas! Kasama daw jowas!

Eh kung landiin ko yung mga jowas nyo?! Kayo na may jowa!

*Never. Ever. Make. Your. Single. Friend. A. Thirdwheel! I know, I know, to some eh ok lang but you know in the midde of your trip or kahit hang out lang somewhere, they’d wish that they did not tag along or that they are in a relationship too.

11. Samin ka na lang sumabay ni jowa, dalawa lang kami.

Depende. Magkano bayad? Gagawin mo na nga akong thirdwheel gagawin mo pa ko taga kuha ng picture nyo!

*Again! Never ever say this! Please lang! Hindi rin dahil sa inggit sil na may jowa ka no, or na bitter sila. (Isa pa yan, never ever say na bitter sla if they’ll say no being thirdwheel) Friendship¬†Etiquette mga bes! Etiquette!

12. Kelan kasal mo?

Mamaya! Umattend ka ha! Sagot mo lechon!

ORRRR….

Sinong nagtatanong? Bastos yun ah!

That’s it for now,

Ash

PS: Don’t worry you single pretty lady, I know how you feel. Seize the moment lang! Darating din yan! Kung hindi man, eh so what dba?! Cheers!¬†

The One Who 

The one who will tell you Good morning when you wake up and a Goodnight when you are about to sleep.

The one who will brighten up your day and make everything better and complete.

The one who will ask if you ate lunch already or maybe ask you out to dinner.

The one who will call you during wee hours at work just to tell you I miss you or;

The one who will call you just to hear your voice.

The one who’s voice you are willing to listen to even if it’s 4am.

The one who you can hold hands with while walking under the moonlight or while learning to ski.

The one who will laugh at your corny jokes.

The one who will bite your sandwich before you.

The one who will finish your juice.

The one who will be your “plus one”.

The one who will let you drink or;

The one who will forbid you to drink.

The one who will knock on your door and bring you soup when you’re sick or;

The one who will bring you ice cream just because you are pms-ing.

The one who will tell you to go out with your friends but gives you a “don’t you dare” look.

The one who will introduce you to family and friends.

The one who’s ex you’ll be stalking.

The one who will make an effort to buy you the gift you’ve been checking out in the mall.

The one who will just drive you around.

The one who you’ll celebrate Valentines with.

The one who will carry your shopping bags.

The one who will make you want to learn to cook.

The one who will make you strive more.

The one who will make you smile 24/7.

The one who will make you feel happy just by doing nothing.

The one who will make you feel jealous.

The one who you picture yourself marrying to.

The one who will make you want to have kids.

The one who you want to grow old with.

The one who will make you feel young.

The one you don’t want to lose.

The one you plan future with.

The one who completes you.

The one who will make you believe in forever.

The one who will make you fall over and over again.

The one who will make you feel loved everyday.

The one who will tell you I love you.

The one who will make you feel There is One.

30 

Self:

I’m 2 years away till 30 and It is scary AF! I may just be overthinking but reaching that age means more responsibilities coming my way. Time to take¬†ADULT 101 seriously!

In 28 years of existence, I really haven’t done much yet. I just finished school and currently eager to get a job from the career I chose. I haven’t been on a trip, even out of town with my friends. Not even been in a relationship. How am I suppose to face middle adulthood? Is my wisdom already enough for this new chapter?

_________________________________

In General Aspect:

Some says that 30 is the new 20. I am not sure why but if that’s the case, then, Can I still catch up with everything I missed in my 20s? I don’t think so. The energy of a 20 something year old has already gone in me!¬†I cannot party and dance the night away anymore. My alcohol intolerance is already down to 2 bottles of beer or wine or maybe less and shopping for me means going to the grocery store. —- Pretty sure I am not the only one here!¬†

Maybe it has something to do with the opportunities… career. If that’s the case, then that’s good! More opportunities, More money to pay the bills!

In the social norm… or maybe before the millenials existed, a person in 30/-ish should have already put his/herself together or getting there. WHY?. Is there a deadline on being successful nor a prize? This is putting too much pressure! — FYI: I don’t advice you to procrastinate and be a happy go lucky either!. If a person is not there yet, wait and don’t slam the person with what is norm! The person knows that!¬†

_________________________________

In behalf:

….¬†yeah, we are overthinking, we are pressured! We know!

___________________________________

That’s it for now!

Ash


How ma-notice ni Crush na hindi ka kilala 101… or in General.

Re-post from my old account published: September 13, 2016

So I saw in facebook this ‚ÄúPaano mapansin ni Crush na hindi ka kilala‚ÄĚ tips from the University something files. Natawa ako kasi most of the tips na nandun eh nagawa ko na.¬†Did it work?¬†No.¬†

Sabi dun, i-add sa facebook. 

Inadd ko ng last week ng November 2014, inaccept ako December 24 2014. January 31, 2015 ini-unfriend ko.¬†Why?¬†Ofcourse, kahit sinasabi na ‚Äúi-accept lang niya ako ok na‚ÄĚ eh we will still end up expecting for more (Yan tayo eh, ‚Äėdi makuntento!).¬†I noticed myself checking his facebook account almost everyday at hoping pa na magmessage siya, eh nakakatanga kasi wala siyang ginawa for a month, edi binura ko. Ang useless eh!¬†

Sabi dun, i-message mo kahit wrong send then pahabain mo.

Nagmessage ako ng last week ng January 2016. Nagpakilala ako and all. Up to now, wala pa din reply. Nice dba? A-ffort! Lunok na lunok na ang pride!

Did I continue to pursue him? No. Why?

Paano magpa-cute kay crush na hindi ka kilala 101? I learned this the hard way guys!

  1. Simply because, hindi pwede! 

Ask yourself,¬†sino ba sya? ¬†then,¬†sino ba ako sa kanya?.¬†Kung ayaw mo mapagkamalan na stalker, ‚Äėwag kang humarot! Huwag isabuhay ang ‚Äú2016 na ngayon!¬†(o kung ano mang taon mo to mabasa!)¬†Pwede na mauna kahit sino!‚ÄĚ ¬†dahil kung hindi kayo magkakilala at wala kayong common friend/s (as in 0 zero) eh hindi ito applicable!¬†Maghanap ka muna ng common friend at dun ka magsimula.¬†

Ang landi, may pinipili din na sitwasyon. Husayan ang paggamit! Ilagay sa tama!

  1. Brain over Lust over Heart and not the other way around.

Syempre, pag may nakita kang cute somewhere mauuna dyan yung magpapacute ka ng slight dba? Huhulihin mo kung tinitignan ka din. Kapag dun pa lang eh wala na. As in kahit daplis lang ng mata eh wala, MOVE ON TO THE NEXT FISH! Hayaan na lang sa puson ang sakit. Huwag ma-fall! Kung susubukan mo man dumiskarte ay matutong isa-UTAK LAMANG o gamitin lagi ang utak! Alamin mo limitasyon mo!

Just so you know, bago ako nagmove kay crush eh higit isang taon ko na siyang sinisipat niyan. May encounters na din pero not directly na kaming dalawa pero sadly, sadyang walang effect eh! Hahaha!

That’s it for now!

Ash

Closure

Re-post from my old account published: August 2, 2016

Kelangan ba talaga ng closure para makapag move on? Hindi ako naniniwala.

Ang dalawang taong tinuldukan ang kanilang relasyon. Magandang paraan man o pangit. May tanong pang hindi nasasagot o wala. Hindi na mababago ng mga ito ang katotohanan na tapos na kayo.

Magandang paraan at wala ng tanong:

Ito yung mga relasyon na wala ng closure talaga. DAPAT. Dahil hilig sabihin ay lahat napagusapan na. Parehas na dapat magsimulang mag move on. KUNG may nakalimutan tanungin o biglang naalalang kelangan klaruhin ay hindi na dapat maghabol pa na makapagusap pa. Parehas na kayong nasa proseso ng moving on. Tanungin mo na lang sa hangin.

Hindi magandang paraan at marami pang tanong:

Parehas man ang desisyon o hindi eh tapos na ang relasyong ito. Huwag ng maghabol na magusap pa… closure. Sa oras na tinapos na ang isang relasyon ay dapat close na ang utak at puso sa idea ng existence niya at buksan na lang ulit kapag naka-move on na. Yun lang ang closure na kelangan mo at hindi ang magklaro pa ng kung ano ano.

Aanhin mo pa ba ang mga sagot sa closure kung wala ng relasyon? Wala diba? Walang silbi lang. Pumasok ka ng relasyon niyo ng ikaw at siya lang. Walang pre-relationship talk kaya wag ka din gumawa ng post break-up talk aka closure. 

Nung panahon nila Jose Rizal, may closure ba? WALA! Though hindi man ako sigurado sa sagot ko pero sigurado akong hindi na nila inisip yun nuon dahil sa dami ng nangyayari sa paligid nila. Nakapag move on sila ng maayos. Kaya ganun lang dapat ang ginagawa. MOVE ON AGAD AFTER BREAK UP. Huwag kang Elisse! 

Huwag ng isipin na kung minahal ka ba at magtanong. Huwag ng isipin kung naging loyal ba sayo at magtanong. Hindi mo na siya masasampal kasi wala ka ng karapatan! Tapos na kayo! Huwag ka ng magisip pa! Kung bitter ka pa, maligo ka ng may asin para matanggal!

May iba na ginagamit ang closure to ask for second chances. Huwag kang Jerome! Ang EX hindi na binabalikan. Hindi kayo maghihiwalay kung masaya talaga kayo in the first place. May problema man nuon na dulot ng ibang tao, hindi pa rin yun rason dahil kayong dalawa lang ang nasa relasyon. Kung bumitaw na kayo sa first chance palang ano pa sa second chance?!

Para sa akin, ang closure ay parang hope sa relasyon. Nakakatanga lang.

BREAK UP THEN MOVE ON AND DO IT FOR YOURSELF!

That’s it for now!

Ash

He likes me. He likes me not.

Re-post from my old account published: July 12, 2016

He likes me not was my classmate in second grade. He was tall, thin, hair almost covering part of his left eye. He was so nice and charming that most of our batchmates finds him really cute. I told him I have a crush on him and he replied me with a beautiful smile. We became best of friends throughout the school year. But then, we went to different class on our third grade and we suddenly lost touch with each other. He is my first crush aside Patrick Garcia.

He likes me was the transfer student from another country in my elementary years. He was my classmate and we became friends. Then suddenly he started showing he care and telling how likeable I am even I have told him to stop numerous time. Now, we are facebook friends as we both live in different countries.

He likes me not was my elementary best friend who I had a puppy love on. He was a transfer student whose classroom is just across mine. We became friends and got to know each other well through endless phone calls. He was nice, caring, a gentleman at that time,  he made me feel special which I unknowingly fell for. He told me he liked me too but he ended up liking my girl friend more. Graduation came. He ended up to be that guy I used to know and so as I to him.

He likes me not is the guy from the other school. I had this huge crush on this guy during highschool who goes to same school as my siblings. He was tall, thin, chinito and a member of a drama club. I was so dying to meet him personally so I went to his school during their school fair. I spoke to him and introduced myself. He talked to me nicely even though I was a complete stranger to him. It did not progress to anything of course. Last week, I saw their wedding video in you tube. I was surprised to see that and also happy for him.

He likes¬†me¬†not¬†is my¬†batchmate in college. I had the task to make an AVP for our capping day in school. I was always online on my¬†yahoo messenger¬†every night at that time when he suddenly sent me a message¬†‚Äúsup?‚ÄĚ. It felt surreal¬†as¬†we haven‚Äôt¬†spoken to each other in school. Since then we chatted almost every night and also texting. We began to be really close. He showed he cared, he was protective and sweet which made me‚Ķ again‚Ķ¬†fell. He was in a complicated relationship that time and it did not progress which I am happy because he became¬†one my best guy friends¬†up to now.

He likes¬†me not¬†is my¬†college classmate. He was one of those who knew me well at that time. We have that ‚Äútickling teasing‚ÄĚ we do that some of our schoolmates think we were a couple. We were a¬†‚Äúlove team‚Ä̬†¬†in school for like 2 years. He became close with my friends as well as my family. We were always there for each other. Sadly, it all changed when he fell to our batchmate. He kept it a secret. I felt betrayed. I was hurt. I was left with¬†‚ÄúWhat happened to us?‚ÄĚ.¬†With no clear explanation and answers (up to now),¬†we just moved on.¬†

He likes me not is the guy from work. He was tall, broad shoulders, so nice and charming. He was still in college that time and was a football player in their school. He is my out of my league type of guy. We texted for two years and ended up just being friends. 

He likes me not is the guy from the Church. We go to the same mass every saturday (separately) for years and sits on the same side of the Church. We don’t know each other personally. He caught my attention because he seems to be like the guy version of me: eldest, goes to Church with family, and doesn’t seem to like hanging out too much. I tried ways to be friends with him but unluckily, I did not receive any response from him. Now, four years after, we are still churchmates.

He likes me is the guy from the future. The guy I have been waiting to meet. The guy who I would like to think is someone tall, has broad shoulders, charming, responsible, respectful, and successful (meaning: having a job and the ability to support finances). Someone who will break the ice instead of me doing it. Who will say what he feels and doesn’t leave me wondering. Who likes just me, will stay with me and will make me say we are soulmates. 

That’s it for now.

Ash